Over a Belt?!

Giving. A staple in the Christian world. A concept that has been instilled within me for as long as I can remember. It's always been easy for me to 'give the shirt off my back' to those in need; even when it's something that I consider a prized possession. So, it was such a shock to me this morning when I lost my temper over the loss of a measly belt that could have been replaced for under $20.

Ironically, I am currently in the process of purging items in my household that I no longer need. Clothes that I haven't worn in the past year, articles of clothing that my son has so rapidly grown out of, even some items of furniture that I felt the need to give away. My dad has so graciously given up a few weeks of his time to come and help me thru this ordeal. While I'm at work, he's busy taking all of these goods to the thrift store, keeping the house clean and watching my son. He's also given me a chance to go out for some much needed free time where I can take a break from being 'momma' and just be Miss Jillian.

Taking full advantage of my free time, I recently went shopping and bought some new clothes. I was stoked! I had already mentally picked out the outfit I was going to wear to work today and when I went to look for it...the belt was missing. I quickly came to the conclusion that it must have accidentally been taken to the thrift store. At that moment, I allowed ALL of my frustrations to come out...sadly, my dad became the sounding board for my erratic rantings and ravings.

I began to complain that I wasn't able to have as nice of furniture as I would like because I had a 2 1/2 year old who would destroy it; I griped about lack of child support and I ranted that I was SICK of sacrificing so much in my life because I was a single mom. At that point in my outburt, I realized what I was saying.

Inwardly, I began to wonder, What if Jesus would have said that HE was sick of being the sacrifice for us right before he was placed on the cross? What happened to my faith in MY PROVIDER? And why was I being so materialistic?

I began to meditate on Jesus' words at that point, "Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.” Luke 12:15

I felt a bit better, I was replacing my resentment and anger with the Word. I mentally flipped over to another passage, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

Humbled by the Truth, I apologized to my dad for directing my outburts at him and walked out the door with the final passage on my heart, “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:31-33

A couple hours later my dad called me up and said, "You'll never guess what Roo came out of the room wearing around his waist..."

The Perfect Reunion

I admit...I was a bit nervous to attend my 10 year high school reunion. I had heard several people's accounts of their reunion experience and some of them weren't too positive. There was the girl who was promised by her best friend that she'd show up at the reunion and her friend failed to show. And there was the class who failed to let go of their high school cliche's even after 10 years. I didn't know what to expect.

I'm a single mom who didn't finish college; what could I brag about that I had accomplished in the past decade? What would I say when my former classmates asked me what I did for a living? Would I embellish my occupation? Would I make excuses why I hadn't accomplished more?

I realized that wasn't me. So I simply asked my best friend of about 15 years who went to high school with me to accompany me to the reunion. Being the great friend that she is, she agreed. A couple days before the reunion, I asked myself a question: "Are you happy with who you are today?" My answer was yes. This answer made me much more confident as the time of the reunion drew near.

The day of the reunion, I made a point to address all of my former classmates and tell them hi. Our small class embraced each other and it was as if time stood still except this time there was no drama or criticism. We talked, we laughed and we reminisced until late in the evening. We didn't want the night to end; we even said that we wanted to make this reunion every 5 years instead of an entire decade.

As I went home that night, I thanked God for who I had become. I may not have earned a BA or a Masters; and I'm not married, but I have a love for God, a love for my son and a wonderful job that allows me to provide for and spend time with my boy and for that I am eternally grateful.

Not only did this reunion help me gain an appreciation for myself and where I am at this point in my life, it also gave me an opportunity to build life long friendships; the kind that endures way past a decade. And may the next ten years bring each of us success, joy and most importantly...closer to God.

The Gift

I have been blessed.
How? You ask.
Let me explain.
When I was lost...when I was living for myself,
I was given a gift.
At the time, I didn't realize he was a gift.
My soul was tortured, my mind was controlled.
I would get rid of this gift, that was my choice.
But God, you are good. You are love.
You showed me the future of the course that I was on.
And you gave me the courage to walk away from that destructive path.
I repented and I accepted your love and the gift you'd given me.
Your peace enveloped me and in you my faith grew.
I dedicated my gift to you, because without you he would not exist.
To this day I am amazed at the gift you gave to me.
I did not deserve him.
I was not prepared for such an awesome gift.
But you looked at my heart.
You knew that I would love this gift.
That I would appreciate him EVERYDAY.
That I would do my best to mold this gift into someone extrodinary in your eyes.
So now I say thank you.
Thank you for this gift.
Though I don't feel worthy of him or of the challenge to raise him properly in your eyes, I ask for your strength, for your wisdom and for your discernment to be the best steward I can of the gift that you've blessed me with.
And may his legacy reveal a strong reflection of you and your unfailing love for all.

Long live...US ALL

Over the past couple weeks we've been bombarded by the tragic news of the death of several famous and iconic people. From Ed McMahon to Farrah Fawcett and from Michael Jackson to salesman, Billy Mays; the compounding news of each loss in such a short time span began to weigh heavily on my heart. We were being inundated with death and the realization that mortality does not discriminate based on social status or age hit me.

Upon hearing the various medical causes of death of these public figures including pneumonia, cancer, heart problems and even alleged drug overdose, I began to take an introspective analysis of my own life. And I found risky behavior, nutritional neglect, and unnecessary stressors that could all lead to my premature demise if I didn't address each one of them soon.

I realized that my first change needed to come from the heart. Proverbs 3:1-2 tells us, "Do not forget my(God's)law, but let your heart keep my commands; for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you." As I began to draw closer to God, many harmful habits in my life that needed to be dealt with were revealed to me.

Now that the spiritual issues were being addressed, it was time for me to reflect on the physical aspects of increasing my quality of life. I had become lackadaisical in my workouts; I had replaced most of my evening jogs with lying on the couch and watching the TV. Whatsmore, I had also traded in my healthy, home-cooked meals for fast food on a more regular basis. Consequently, the money being wasted on this unhealthy habit had highlighted my third problem area of mental stressors which manifest itself thru financial lack.

Poor money management and thoughtless spending sprees had caused unnecessary stress in my life. I had been blaming other people for my financial lack all along when I came to the awareness that my job provided me with enough income to live comfortably if I cut out all the superfluous shopping.

With little recent changes such as reviving my running routine, eating a more balanced diet, cutting down on trips to the store and living more within my means, I believe I have increased my quality level of life. Furthermore, allowing God to work on my heart has brought me peace, joy and confidence.

This healing process reminds me of part of a Henry Wadsworth Longfellow poem in which he states, "Joy and Temperance and Repose slam the door on the doctor's nose."

So, I encourage you to do an honest evaluation of your own life and address the issues that may be stunting your longevity. Maybe you have a tendancy to speed in your car, or perhaps you don't wait long enough after your last drink before you drive. Have you been putting off that routine doctor's exam? Or maybe it's just as simple as adopting a more optimistic attitude in life and giving all of your worries to God. Whatever your personal analysis reveals, please take action immediately...don't wait. You have people in your life who care about you and people who rely on you to live a long, abundant life.

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

~Man in the Mirror, Michael Jackson

Do What I Say AND What I Do.

"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."

An interesting quote from American writer, Clarence Budington Kelland; however, it's ineffectiveness lies in the lack of instruction from a father to his son.

Today in our society, fatherhood has taken backseat to motherhood in the parental heirarchy. In many cases, a father's authority is undermined and even flat out ignored by their children. The mother is viewed as the nurturer, the educator and the disciplinarian while the father's sole task is to provide financially for his family. This change of parental duties over the past few decades has damaged the family unit and produced a generation of kids who have a disrespect for authority in general.

I know a true life story of a boy who was raised in a two parent home. The father was rarely there and his discipline was almost non-existent. When the boy was sent home from school for misbehaving, he would always call his father to come pick him up because he knew that he would not be punished by him. Due to his father's lack of involvement in his life, the mother had to step up and become the disciplinarian, the nurturer, the educator and often the financial provider. As a result, the boy failed to learn many important life lessons. Whatsmore, when the boy had a child of his own, he depended on his child's mother to take on all of those roles that his own mother had been given when raising him. The parental example he'd seen as a child was all he knew; a father's role was not necessary, thus the cycle of a somewhat uninvolved father would continue.

But fathers, your role is extremely important. You need to stand up and take back that leadership role in your family. Not by physical force or verbal threats, but earn their respect and teach your kids the true character of a man. Show respect for your children's mother and work together as her ally in your joint parental duties.

Ephesians 6:4 says, "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." Fathers, one of your duties is to instill within your children the difference between right and wrong or good and evil. Consistently show them the rewards of good behavior and the consequences of their bad behavior.

Protect your children and keep them out of harmful situations. Sigmund Freud once said, "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." This goes for children of all ages...even teenagers. They may not seem like they care, but children want to feel that they have a dad who will stand up for them and be their defender.

But most of all, fathers need to be an example and live by the same moral, ethical, and spiritual guidelines that they have trained their children to follow. All the teaching, discipline and protection a father provides hinges on how he lives his own life. Children are both perceptive and impressionable and can spot hypocrisy quite easily. And hypocrisy can undo a lifetime worth of righteous admonition. Of course, no parent is perfect but as the old adage goes,

"A good example has twice the value of good advice."

Happy Father's Day!!

No love like a MOTHER'S LOVE

This is my third time celebrating Mother's Day and I STILL can't believe how blessed I am to have Mr Reuel William. I've NEVER thought of myself as the "motherly" type. I've been spontaneous, impatient, vain, and stubborn pretty much my whole life. When I got pregnant, I knew things would be different; I knew I would have to become more responsible and that my life would change forever. But I had NO IDEA what being a mom meant until I held Mr Roo in my arms for the first time. LOVE is the PERFECT word to describe what a mother feels at that moment when she holds her baby for the first time. Think about it...a mother often goes thru HOURS of laborious contractions, exhaustion and immense pressure and once the baby comes out...ALL of that pain is instantly forgotten and her emotions are that of joy and love. Personally, I don't remember what the pain of childbirth feels like even after less than 3 years; but I ABSOLUTELY remember how I felt when Mr Roo was placed in my arms.

Motherhood is MORE than just making it thru childbirth though; it's a DAILY lifestyle choice. It's putting your child's needs above your feelings. It's getting along with your spouse or ex even when it's hard. It's sticking with a daily routine so your child feels stability. It's encouraging them EVERY DAY by telling them how smart they are and how much you love them. It's reading to them and teaching them how to interact with others. And most importantly, a mother's job is to introduce their child to God.

Because I KNEW I lacked basic mothering skills in the beginning; I vowed that I would not only work on them, but I would also use my strength which was allowing God's love to shine thru me so that Roo would feel His love. And secondly, I relied on family to HELP me love Roo. I believe it DOES take a village to raise a child properly. It takes supportive family members, it takes caring teachers, it takes encouraging fellow church members, it takes understanding boss' and co-workers; but it all begins with a mother's UNCONDITIONAL love and devotion to 'raise up her child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it.' Prov. 22:6

The perfect mother is NOT a 'perfect mother,' but a mother who realizes her mission is to raise her child to understand their purpose in life and help them anyway she can to fulfill that purpose.

Happy Mother's Day!!

From the Boss' Prospective...

The following is a somewhat harshly over-exaggerated yet interesting hypothetical letter from a boss to his employees. Although I obviously don't agree with ALL the ideals this letter points out, as an employee AND soon-to-be small business owner, I gained a new perspective of how "the boss" thinks as well as a deeper understanding of how vital it is to reward entrepreneurship ESPECIALLY in this current struggling economic time. Enjoy! :)


To All My Valued Employees,

There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country. (I know some of you will stop here, but please keep reading) However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.

First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You've seen my big home at last years Christmas party. I'm sure all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life. However, what you don't see is the back story.

I started this company 28 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot studio apartment for 3 years. My entire living apartment was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you.. My diet consisted of Ramen Pride noodles because every dollar I spent went back into this company.. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didn't have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.

Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50K a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting the Nordstrom's for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the Goodwill store extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 70's. My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury.. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.

So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5pm, I don't. There is no "off" button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a 1 year old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden -- the nice house, the Mercedes, the vacations... You never realize the back story and the sacrifices I've made.

Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn't. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for.

Yes, business ownership has is benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds. Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why:

I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough. I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers compensation taxes. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a tax man to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a check to the US Treasury for $288,000 forquarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" check was? Zero. Nada. Zilch

The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy?Me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check? Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country. The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you?That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy.

Here is what many of you don't understand ... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had suddenly government mandated to me that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what?Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Washington black-hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.

When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don't defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the poor of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep.

So where am I going with all this? It's quite simple.

If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV, and your child's future. Frankly, it isn't my problem any more.

Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire. You see, I'm done. I'm done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, will be my citizenship.

If you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steamrolled the constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about....

Signed,

Your boss

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."

- Thomas Jefferson