First Memory

What was your first memory? How old were you when it occurred? I can remember that mine took place when I was somewhere around 3-4 years old. Our family was living in Germany and my oldest brother and 2 older sisters locked my brother and me up in the attic of our house. I remember that they had us both climb up the folding stairs to our attic and they locked the door once we had climbed up. I'm not saying that this incident traumatized me or caused me to act irrationally in my adult years and I love my older siblings to this day, but what a first memory. One thing is for certain, I will always remember my first childhood memory; it sticks with you as a monumental remembrance of the starting point of your formative years.

Anyday, my son could start to remember what occurs in his life. Today for the first time, I began to wonder what his first memory will be. Will it be making friends at the park? How about swimming at the local pool with his cousins? Could his first memory be singing 'Jesus Loves Me' at school?

Although I cannot be around him 24/7, in my absence, I do my best to have my son surrounded by positive influences, loving family members and godly instructors who teach Reuel about Jesus' love for him. In addition, I have decided that I need to make a more deliberate attempt to create a more positive, loving and Christ-centered atmosphere in our household when I am available to take care of him; for these are the characteristics that I desire my son to possess throughout his life. Furthermore, I choose to make a more concentrated effort to speak positively about his paternal family no matter the circumstances that may occur between them and me; Reuel needs to know that both sides of his family love him dearly and want to see him succeed in life.

Reuel's first memory may not determine the outcome of his entire life, but it will always be with him. Why not make it a positive memory; one that is worth remembering?

Stronger

Girl, you are strong.
As you reminisce on the past, don't regret.
It's easy to beat yourself up,
To revisit your failures
Or to listen to what society says you should be.

Instead, tell yourself:

Girl, you are beautiful.
No matter your shape, size, color or complexion,
You were made for an important purpose.
Hold your head up high,
For you are loved by the Almighty God, Himself.

Girl, listen to God,
Not some ticking time clock to schedule your life's actions.
He has the perfect plan for your life.
Rely on the sound of His voice for timing and guidance.
It will lead you down a path of peace and true happiness.

Girl, stand your ground.
Stick up for truth and righteousness;
Let words of wisdom proceed from your mouth,
Never dwell on criticism,
For you are a daughter of the Most High.

Girl, follow your dreams.
God has put a talent and a dream inside each one of us.
Become educated and follow the path He leads you down.
Ignore the pessimistic chatter around you;
Strive to become the best in your field.

Girl, you get stronger each and every day.
Surrounding yourself with other women of strength,
Casting aside self-doubt;
Speaking and meditating on the Truth,
You will not be held back.

Girl, pass this message on to other women.
Encourage them to progress in life,
Inspire them to follow your example.
Become the confident women you were created to be;
Celebrate by leading a life of richness and strength.

Not too Late

As many of you may know, I FINALLY made the committment and enrolled in the local junior college here in the Treasure Valley this semester. I am very excited. I've allowed a lot of negativity, criticism and mindless activities to distract me over the past decade, but I am happy to be back on track.

However, my decision to continue my education didn't come over night. I battled several mental roadblocks over the years. I struggled with self doubt: 'Would I be able to go back and succeed in school after all of these years?' Insecurity: 'Most of my former classmates have Bachelor degrees or their Masters; I will be starting over with many teenagers in my class.' Fear of debt: 'College tuition will put me in so much debt and I just can't handle all of the stress that financial bondage will bring upon me.' And worst of all, I struggled with thoughts of stagnancy: 'I'm a hard worker and have always successfully held down a couple jobs at a time; why do I need to go to college?'

All of these thoughts and fears prohibited me for years from developing my God given gifts of writing and memorization at a higher education level. Near the middle of last year, I came to the realization that my job that I'd had and absolutely loved for years could not pay me what I needed to make to send my son to daycare. I began to pray for God's direction, for a new job and for our needs to be met. I felt the answer was clear to me; I needed to go back to school. It wasn't just so I could be able to provide for my family. It was so much more than that. I had mentally resigned myself to be a hardworker, yet with no real thought or important opinion. I labeled myself as a person who was one anxiety attack away from the psych ward. And I lacked any real committment or focus in my life.

It was the perfect time for me to start over. As soon as I allowed God to direct my path and started thanking Him for His leading and provision, it's as if blessings, peace and favor began to flow into my life. Famous author, Og Mandino wrote, "Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence." This is my passage. I smile bigger, the music now plays sweeter and I am moving forward not only in my education, but forward in God. Another Mandino quote says this, "There is an immeasurable distance between late and too late." I may be a little late when it comes to going back to school and getting back on track with the Lord. But I have a merciful and loving God who has shown me that as long as I'm alive, it's never too late to run back into His arms and He will lead me down another rewarding and abundant path in life.

Obedience starts with YOU

Recently,I've been working with my nearly 3 year old son on the concept of obedience. As any normal child, he's at the stage where he's learning that he's not an appendage of his mom and he actually has a mind of his own. So for instance, when momma says that he needs to turn off the TV because it's time to eat, he naturally tries to see how long he can get away with watching his cartoon before he is threatened with disciplinary action.

I've tried many of the obedience methods out there. There's the 1...2...3 method; of course most kids wait until right before their parent says 3 before they start to respond. Or there's the promise of some sort of treat if they complete the specific task that is commanded of them; and my son ALWAYS remembers about the treat at the end...even if it's been several hours. Or some people even threaten to take away something dear to the child if they fail to obey. No matter which technique a parent decides to use; the goal is the same: to get your child to follow your instructions without questioning, whining or dragging their feet.

As I began this process with my son, a thought struck me. How can we expect our children to obey us in this manner if we blatantly disobey God's Word? I began to analyze my own life and the strongholds that had stunted me from being obedient myself. Tithing was a big issue that had held me back for years. Sure, I had heard numerous messages on how important it was, I clearly knew what God's Word said about it. But I just figured that I could somehow 'pick and choose' which commands of His I wanted to obey and which ones I could conveniently dismiss as mere suggestions.

As this revelation of my disregard for God's command tugged at my conscience, I looked for examples of obedience in the Bible. I had the perfect example right in front of me: a Son obeying His Father, even to the point of death. Philippians 2:8 "And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Jesus was exalted because He obeyed His Father's command.

With further research I found that we will also reap rewards if we obey. Job 36:11 states that "If they obey and serve Him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures."

I don't know about you, but I want prosperity and a long, fulfilling life for both me and my son. I began tithing regularly a few weeks ago and already I have seen financial increase and favor in my life. In addition, I've noticed a great improvement in my son's obedience toward me. I am learning to lead my son not only with my words but by example.

Aristotle and Benjamin Franklin both said in their own different versions: "He that cannot obey, cannot command."

All A Matter of The Tongue

The Tongue.
Such a small instrument with a huge responsibility.
What flows off of yours on a regular basis?
Words of encouragement to a friend?
A testimony of God's goodness, perhaps.
Do you vocalize your appreciation for His financial provision?
Or profess a declaration of health over your family?

Don't you know that death and life are in the power of the tongue?
Christ's death and resurrection bought back our dominion over the earth.
As believers, we've been given the authority to rebuke sickness, pain and death.
We now have the ability to 'speak to our mountain,' and tell it to be removed;
If only we believe.

Let's look at our problems or circumstances thru God's eyes;
Jesus ALREADY won the battle for us.
He took sickness, disease, poverty and oppression to the cross for us;
Why should we accept that which He's already taken care of?
To do so would be to trivialize His sacrifice for us.

Rather live an abundant life.
Thank the Lord for the health of your family.
Use faith, the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Praise Him for His provision.
Speak words of wisdom and knowledge over your children,
And declarations of unity and love over your marriage.

With the Truth on our lips and in our hearts,
Our lives will be a testament of God's goodness.
And the world will see a difference;
For we are called, 'the light of the world.'
Let your light so shine.

~'Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord...' Psalm 19:14

Prayer for my Son

Sometimes I wonder who you'll become.
An athlete? A musician?
A comedian or a soldier?
What should I be doing to prepare you for your future?
Should I toss you a ball?
Have you take swimming lessons?
Such pressure on a mother to detect talent at an early age.
Of course I want you to succeed; that's my mission.
But sometimes I feel that I fall short, as I am but one woman raising a boy.

Lord, show me the direction in which to lead my son.
Though he does not have an active father figure in his life,
Your Word says that You are a Father of the fatherless.
Fill that paternal void in his life.
Thank you for providing godly and moral male role models
For my son within my family and the church body who can mentor him
Until I find the man who is right to fill that fatherly role.

Before he was born, thru Your Word I spoke my boy's qualities into existence.
He is EXACTLY who I wanted him to be.
I give You praise for empowering me with your wisdom and love,
For your compassion and discernment.
And for providing us with a support system beyond our greatest expectations.
We are TRULY blessed.

As Hannah dedicated her son, Samuel to God;
So I give Reuel to You.
Help me to use Your Word as a manual in which to raise him by.
Build my patience level; give me peace.
NEVER let me forget the blessing that he has been in my life.

Lord, You know what Reuel was created for.
I pray that he'll be a malleable vessel for You to use.
Sensitive to Your Word, yet strong in his convictions.
May Truth and Life proceed from his mouth.
And healing in his touch.

I will NOT worry what my son will become.
He is already "a friend of God;" that is his namesake.
He has the effective prayers of his family,
But most of all...he has the Promises of his Father.
With this combination, there is NOTHING that can stand in his way.

Over a Belt?!

Giving. A staple in the Christian world. A concept that has been instilled within me for as long as I can remember. It's always been easy for me to 'give the shirt off my back' to those in need; even when it's something that I consider a prized possession. So, it was such a shock to me this morning when I lost my temper over the loss of a measly belt that could have been replaced for under $20.

Ironically, I am currently in the process of purging items in my household that I no longer need. Clothes that I haven't worn in the past year, articles of clothing that my son has so rapidly grown out of, even some items of furniture that I felt the need to give away. My dad has so graciously given up a few weeks of his time to come and help me thru this ordeal. While I'm at work, he's busy taking all of these goods to the thrift store, keeping the house clean and watching my son. He's also given me a chance to go out for some much needed free time where I can take a break from being 'momma' and just be Miss Jillian.

Taking full advantage of my free time, I recently went shopping and bought some new clothes. I was stoked! I had already mentally picked out the outfit I was going to wear to work today and when I went to look for it...the belt was missing. I quickly came to the conclusion that it must have accidentally been taken to the thrift store. At that moment, I allowed ALL of my frustrations to come out...sadly, my dad became the sounding board for my erratic rantings and ravings.

I began to complain that I wasn't able to have as nice of furniture as I would like because I had a 2 1/2 year old who would destroy it; I griped about lack of child support and I ranted that I was SICK of sacrificing so much in my life because I was a single mom. At that point in my outburt, I realized what I was saying.

Inwardly, I began to wonder, What if Jesus would have said that HE was sick of being the sacrifice for us right before he was placed on the cross? What happened to my faith in MY PROVIDER? And why was I being so materialistic?

I began to meditate on Jesus' words at that point, "Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.” Luke 12:15

I felt a bit better, I was replacing my resentment and anger with the Word. I mentally flipped over to another passage, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

Humbled by the Truth, I apologized to my dad for directing my outburts at him and walked out the door with the final passage on my heart, “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:31-33

A couple hours later my dad called me up and said, "You'll never guess what Roo came out of the room wearing around his waist..."