What's LOVE Got to Do With It?

I'm a people watcher. I LOVE to sit back and just watch people be themselves and spout off their opinions. More specifically, I'm fascinated with other people's relationship issues. Maybe it's because my parents divorced after having 7 children and I still have questions about how that's possible. My parents separated when I was 4 years old, so I have no memory of them together, but my older siblings tell stories about how much fun they had together when they were married...how much more carefree they were. Don't get me wrong...my parents are both happy now and they have been wonderful examples to me. It's just that the dissolution of their marriage has made me more reserved about getting married myself.

Over the years, I've seen SO MANY seemingly healthy marriages fall apart. And I'm not just talking about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston and other Hollywood breakups. I'm talking about close friends and family members. Marriages that I could have sworn would last forever because the couples started out as best friends.

I've attended my fair share of weddings and I see the beautiful bride with a radiant glow about her as she walks down the aisle to join her proud husband-to-be. They both seem so full of hope and have a confidence that they will be together till death do us part. But then I read the statistics which show that over half of these marriages in America end in divorce. All of this makes me stop and question, what exactly does it take for a couple to go from till death do us part to irreconcilable differences? In a one word summary, LIFE.

For my parents, it was too much separation time because my dad was often deployed around the world as a military officer. For some couples, it might be tough financial situations. Others may separate due to infidelity issues. Still other unions may dissolve due to a lack of common interests and ideals that the couple discovered over time. In each of these circumstances, both of the parties are emotionally scarred by the break up. And often, they don't allow themselves to fully heal and learn from their mistakes before jumping into their NEXT relationship. Thus, they bring their pain, preconceived ideas and distrust...aka baggage...with them; setting themselves up to fail in the new relationship as well.

As a woman who LOVES sappy love songs, as a single momma to the world's sweetest little boy who deserves an excellent and constant father-figure in his life someday, and as an optimist; I believe in the truly together forever marriage. This requires a love that surpasses human emotion or sometimes understanding. It demands agape love which is the type of love that God has for us...unconditional love. As I read the biblical passage of I Corinthians 13:4-8, I become hopeful.

"Love is patient and is kind. Love does not envy; love does not parade itself, it is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. LOVE NEVER FAILS."

This passage is not only a guide of what I am to look for in a potential life partner, but what I am to aspire to be myself. With a love this pure and a healthy understanding that no one is perfect, my reservations about life-long marriage are minimizing.