Do What I Say AND What I Do.

"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."

An interesting quote from American writer, Clarence Budington Kelland; however, it's ineffectiveness lies in the lack of instruction from a father to his son.

Today in our society, fatherhood has taken backseat to motherhood in the parental heirarchy. In many cases, a father's authority is undermined and even flat out ignored by their children. The mother is viewed as the nurturer, the educator and the disciplinarian while the father's sole task is to provide financially for his family. This change of parental duties over the past few decades has damaged the family unit and produced a generation of kids who have a disrespect for authority in general.

I know a true life story of a boy who was raised in a two parent home. The father was rarely there and his discipline was almost non-existent. When the boy was sent home from school for misbehaving, he would always call his father to come pick him up because he knew that he would not be punished by him. Due to his father's lack of involvement in his life, the mother had to step up and become the disciplinarian, the nurturer, the educator and often the financial provider. As a result, the boy failed to learn many important life lessons. Whatsmore, when the boy had a child of his own, he depended on his child's mother to take on all of those roles that his own mother had been given when raising him. The parental example he'd seen as a child was all he knew; a father's role was not necessary, thus the cycle of a somewhat uninvolved father would continue.

But fathers, your role is extremely important. You need to stand up and take back that leadership role in your family. Not by physical force or verbal threats, but earn their respect and teach your kids the true character of a man. Show respect for your children's mother and work together as her ally in your joint parental duties.

Ephesians 6:4 says, "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." Fathers, one of your duties is to instill within your children the difference between right and wrong or good and evil. Consistently show them the rewards of good behavior and the consequences of their bad behavior.

Protect your children and keep them out of harmful situations. Sigmund Freud once said, "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." This goes for children of all ages...even teenagers. They may not seem like they care, but children want to feel that they have a dad who will stand up for them and be their defender.

But most of all, fathers need to be an example and live by the same moral, ethical, and spiritual guidelines that they have trained their children to follow. All the teaching, discipline and protection a father provides hinges on how he lives his own life. Children are both perceptive and impressionable and can spot hypocrisy quite easily. And hypocrisy can undo a lifetime worth of righteous admonition. Of course, no parent is perfect but as the old adage goes,

"A good example has twice the value of good advice."

Happy Father's Day!!